I have been having this thought about blogging lately. Sometimes, I do enjoy blogging alot. I have ideas on what I want to write or share. I receive heartfelt comments from readers which really inspires me to continue sharing.
But there are other days that I met with a writer’s blog or just suddenly felt lost in the direction my blog is heading too.
Particularly after my blog got into a local blogging competition. Frankly speaking, I was really apprehensive about joining this competition because I have to admit, I hate to lose. In some sense, I would consider I am passively competitive because I probably won’t try too hard or do anything against my integrity to win. Of course, (after sussing out my fellow competitors) I knew that I am not good enough to be the Best but I knew if I do get into the competition, I will want to be in the top 10 at least.
I did get in. But seriously, I did not feel good about having to “rally” for votes but I knew if I didn’t, my closet readers will not vote, my blog will be left out of the Top 10 and I will be sad.
So soon after my blog got categorised into a family blog, somehow I try to tune myself to be more of a family blogger. I try to write topics that are more family related like about marriage, family, kids. And try to stay within this frame in case I went out of topic. I even received suggestion to change my blogger header to be more “family” instead of just showing Allysa’s face. On the other hand, some friends/relatives suggested to keep Allysa on the header because she is the reason people visit my blog.
And every time after my post, I would remind readers to vote because the number of votes made up part of the judging criteria. Seriously, for a SAHM like me with a small cosy social circle and does not belong to any social group, this wasn’t easy. All I can do is to “plea” after every post, tweet, facebook, for kind friends and relatives to take time to vote. To make matters worse, the voting procedure was complicated and definitely not very hassle-free.
Many times, I would receive emails from PR companies who would seek my help in their campaigns or from businesses to help to review their product. As much as I do enjoy the recognition, sometimes I do feel that this isn’t what I really want to do.
Here are some of my thoughts on blogging recently:
- In what direction do I want my blog to grow?
- Does my blog reflects ALL or part of my life?
- Do I really want to blog because of my passion for writing or do I want to receive some gains out of this blog?
- Do I want to gain recognition from my blog?
- How do I want to connect with my readers? As Yvonne or Beadsyy’s Diary? This decision will result in keeping or deleting my Beadsyy’s Diary Facebook account. If I do delete it, I will welcome for my readers to connect to my personal account. After all, we are ONE. It’s kind of a chore to manage two accounts. Some times, I think “What for?”
- Do I want my blog to go “Ad Free”? (I have been pondering hard on this all the time. Do I want to be another blogger mom who aims to reap rewards from her little blog fame? Or just make this a solitude where I share my thoughts, document about monumental moments be in good or bad and things that I feel passionate about?)
- Do I want to write to please myself or my readers?
Seriously, I don’t know if I am getting too sensitive about this. I just have to reconsider my priorities now.
There are days when I'm all “Ad free. Keep this space untainted. It’s MINE." and there are other days that I tell myself “Well, it’s okay to write sponsored reviews and what’s wrong? You do write what you feel still, am I right? You can write sponsored reviews and still keep your blog real.” Those are the times I feel passionate about copywriting.
The whole idea behind this manisfesto I’m creating is I just hope for more humanity in my blog rather than painting a beautiful picture of my life when it isn’t that all the time. I hope to share more real moments without being judged and write whatever comes to my mind. Of course, I am not going to share everything about myself because there’s still some thing called privacy. Things that I write are stuffs that I am willing to share because I feel totally inspirational about it and hope that my readers get inspired in some way or to let them know besides the pretty pictures or words we share, there are also those not-so-perfect moments. I am not trying to create any perfect mom persona with a perfect family.
And when there’s nothing on my mind to write about, I don’t.
Share your thoughts. I might do some advice here.
Thanks and wishing you a fantasic Weekend too!